RIVERS ON MY CHEEKS

Turbulent rivers
With riotous waters
Rooted from my angst-ridden soul
Born in my eyes
Powered by weakened blinks
Flowing on cheeks
And fading on lips
Rivers of all seasons
Eroding my magic smile

Every cock-crow,
I’m an object of satisfaction.
Whether four or times without number,
To him it doesn’t matter
When I complain,
He bungles me with lethal lexis,
Sometimes cuddling me with potent fists,
Or spraying me with roses of spikes.
Should I call this love?
What is rape if this isn’t one?

A week ago he punched me
In presence of our children
Because I asked him
Why he came home late
His violent fists, like bombs exploding,
landed like hailstorm on my face
‘Bambo a Dambizo mukundipheranji ine?’ I screamed
my breath faded slowly
before my eyes.
On my wounds he rubbed salt
Saying that it was my fault

Fellow mothers enlighten me
For how long shall I watch these rivers
Wearing down my cheeks
with scorching waters?
If this isn’t one, then what is domestic violence?

Again, today, he just pulled
And forced me on bed
In just flash of seconds
Vomited in me once
Expecting me to vomit for nine months
How will the would be seventh child
Survive in my haggard womb?
Nurses and doctors tell me
Is this what you call motherhood?
Preachers tell me
Is this what you expect from proverbs 31 woman?

One day, not far away, I promise
I’ll chop this finger carrying my abhorrent wedding ring,
and fade away into thin air
to find solace for my soul

©Christopher E. Loti
(Chris the poet)

THE SEED

I saw them tossing the seed left and right
The seed, so meek,
With no verve to fight back
Pushing and pulling, the seed was defenseless
With stitched mouth, the seed became speechless

Let’s tie its legs and hands, they said
On the altar, the seed was laid
I saw them sucking blood from it,
Then, parched vampires danced in ecstasy
Elated with the blood of the seed
Comfortably paid blind eye
To its vital task ahead
They ignored its pain
Ignorance drove them insane

I saw those horrid creatures
Going down into archives
With rant and rave,
Scrubbing out its history
Without remorse,
Derivated its destiny without reference
Used it to outrival to the world

Enough of tossing
Enough of pushing and pulling
Enough of blood sucking
What do we do with this seed?
Let’s bury it in the dune, they agreed
Then, we’ll annihilate its existence

They knew not
They buried the seed
The seed, resistant seed, blessed seed, the seed large and plump
Though besieged under turmoil sand,
Perseverance saw it sprouting
Today, no longer a measly seed
But a beautiful tree
The abode of birds
Helping numerous arms greased with oil of poverty
As it sheds off its leaves
Feeding the hungry souls
Blessed seed.

©Christopher E. Loti
(Chris the poet)

FORGIVE ME

I’m sorry for the decision I made
I’m sorry for abetting your fate
Forgive me as I vomit the truth today,
As it might be hard to digest
But for the sake of my peace, allow me to confess
Because If I don’t do it,
my troubled soul won’t rest

I’m sorry I threw you in a battle with pills
Which you failed to endure
Your life was prodded before it had the chance to greet the world
Your corpse was transported in a pool of blood
The same lane you were supposed to travel alive

I confess I found trouble in your presence
I confess I was afraid that in few months,
My middle part will broadcast to the world
Papa will beat me
Mama will be angry with me
My sisters and brothers will reject me
My future will be crumbled
I will lose my dignity
That’s how I defended my stupidity

For silly reasons I saw you as a mistake,
I judged you as a fruit of little worth
A condemned fruit
Not befitting in my days of fun

But son/daughter,
From your heavenly window,
Look at me,
See the shame in my eyes
And fear of reality
Memories haunting me day and night
Realizing what I did wasn’t right
Forgive me

©Christopher E. Loti
(Chris the poet)

MY LOVE

How proper should I hold you?
Tell me,
Be a teacher and I’ll be a learner
Should I just lay my lips onto your cheeks?
And make my arms the belt of love around your waist
To prevent your skirt of mania from falling,
Then whisper in your ears,
The mystery of my soul that sends me into cloud nine
When I simply embrace you?

When you touch me in a fond embrace,
My heart develops flimsy wings,
That fly high in blue sky,
A gentle touch not masked in a bunch of lies.
As you fervently stare at me,
Your eyes, behind their comfort home
Burn with loving fire
Setting my poor heart ablaze

As I meditate on these idyllic moments,
When our hearts join and dance together,
To a common song, song of perpetual love,
Our dance is serene, enduring and kind
It brings elation and joy within our souls.
As we migrate into our own world,
Where in the mere meeting of our souls,
We solve the impossible equations.

My love,
Whether in your presence or far distance,
I will never cease to pen the great admiration, respect, and affection I have for you.
This is a promise.

©Christopher Ekari Loti
(Chris the Poet)

BEGINNING OF END

Let me write about her recent behavior
In an attempt to put mine on her lips
She wipes my mouth with resentment
Sometimes landing fingerprints of anger
on my cheeks

When I try entering her doors
She barks at me like a hungry dog
Freezing me with cold air
Outside the gate of confusion
Exhaling me as if I’m a mist
Ruined on the city road

I’m only a man
Weeping silently
But no one sees my tears,
my pain
As I’m crying in rain

©Christopher E. Loti
(Chris the poet)

LANGUAGE OF LOVE

She gazes straight into my eyes
Filled with love no trace of lies
Her lips, so wet with wine
But very red with wild desire
Inviting my soul to stroke a live wire
Her arms wrapped around my neck
As her head sinks on my chest
My body softens in response to the perceived attack
Each gentle touch
Erases songs of loneliness from my heart

©Christopher E. Loti
(Chris the poet)

ROSE OF NYASALAND

Where in you does your beauty veil?
Stamen, pistil or petal?
Rose of Nyasaland, with beauty unconfined
Branching out to bloom my mind

Where in you does your charm dwell?
Pollinators, chant in glee with your smell
You desire no soil, sunshine and water
But stay in full bloom through summer and winter

Swaying gently as breeze strolls by
Passing scent above so high
I’m in love with you, Rose of Nyasaland
Embrace my head with your garland

©Christopher Ekari Loti
(Chris the poet)

THEY DON’T CARE!

They don’t care believe me
You may scream but they can’t let you live free
If they hear sound of your crushing bones
It’s when they put on their ear phones
They can’t even nurse your deep wound
Your oozing blood makes them feel good
Cry, but your tears will just fill their tumblers
As they drink your tears, never stretch your hand near them, they become furious
They’ll cut it off and make food for their dogs
They don’t care, they sold their senses to hogs
Don’t ask why their fingers are long, never think they’re used as a fork
Cry for your coffers.
They don’t care believe me!
They don’t care, never say I never told you
Fight hard! Use your own efforts to sail through, that’s the survival clue


2015/Christopher E. Loti

SCORCHING TEARS

Long days, cold nights
Dreadful nightmares, vanished sight
Hours then days then weeks
Scorching tears flowing down my cheeks

Frittering my nights biting lunula
Whole night of grief is eating my medulla
Heartache in silent shout
No solution seems to work out

Once a virgin before you broke my wings
The jiffy we shared and unique dreams
Knowing not the double edged sword under the mat
In exchange for my love, you stabbed my heart

These broken wings of mine
This virus in my blood


2015/Christopher E. Loti

NEW DAY By Christopher Loti

Waking up from my bed
It’s another day God has made

I open the window on the other side
Admiring the view of the sunrise

A soft gentle breeze enters the room
The chilling on my face feels so good

I tilt my head back on the bed
The morning prayer to make

GOD, I open my mouth
Watch over me inside and out

Lord, I ask that I may grow in faith, love and grace
And seek more sincerely your face

Under your wings of glory give me protection
Through my prayer grant me connection

As the sun rises, I have one word to say
Guide me throughout this day

That my life shouldn’t go astray
In Jesus name I pray

Amen.